Private Life

“I hate private life” says the sign. Privacy is not a Malawian value. In fact when you ask a Malawian “How are you?” more often than not they will respond “WE are fine.” Walking down the road in quiet conversation you are likely to be interrupted by a curious passerby anxious to join in.

Virtually no Malawians live alone. In fact if you do live alone you are probably either to be pitied or to be feared. Most Malawi houses have at least 5 to 15 people living in them. Growing up in Malawi you will rarely eat alone, sleep alone, or be alone. And there is no such thing as “private arrangements” at the time of death. Funerals are huge! The entire village is obligated to show up for a service, as well as friends and colleagues from far and wide. The cost in travel and lost wages is enormous. When it comes to the actual interment (in western culture reserved “for family and close friends”) absolutely everyone shows up at the grave.

Speaking as an introvert, who has built a hermitage for his own sanity in the U.S., this drives me CRAZY! Sometimes I simply have to run away. There is no place to hide even if you get sick, because a gaggle of well wishers will be sure to line up at your door. Heaven help me if I ever need to be hospitalized. My private pain will be on view to 15 or 20 other ward patients, all with at least one family member in attendance. (Note picture of hospital ward) As a result the entire culture is slow to prosper.
In some ways it seems to me that the Malawian emphasis in communal culture is to blame for their oppressive poverty. Envy, jealousy, and communal pressures keep individual ambitions in check. As a result the entire culture is sow to prosper.

However, as we have seen so graphically in recent months, “individual ambitions” run amok can be even more destructive on a global level. The Malawians are certainly innocent of contributing to the global financial crisis. What’s more, within the bounds of family, tribe, or ‘important visitors’, Malawian generosity knows no bounds. Your neighbor or your family is your only “safety net.”

I am a product of rugged individualism that dominates my native culture. Today, in the U.S.A., many families fail to eat together or even be together. So, I confess my grudging admiration for my Malawian brothers & sisters in Christ. There something comforting, something even Gospel-like in knowing that as a Malawian you literally “never walk alone.”